Lost in You
by Killer Teddy 101
Summary: Dylan is not all right. CurlyGothxRedGoth Includes: Cutting and attempted suicide.


**Babble: This is my first fic for the Goths so tell me how I did. Their going to be a little different because I think they would have grown out of labeling everyone as conformist and learn to just be their morbid, pessimistic, angsty selves as they got older.**

**Warnings: Yaoi (BoyxBoy), mentions of Yuri, attempted suicide, cutting, some cussing  
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**Pairings: CurlyGoth(Evan)/RedGoth(Dylan) KinderGoth (Georgie)/ Ike**

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><p>Dylan inhaled his cigarette looking critically around the Goth's hang out spot behind Park County High School. Henrietta wasn't there, as soon as she had dropped the group off at school she and her girlfriend left to go see that new horror movie that was meant to look like a snuff film. Georgie was practically molesting his Canadian boyfriend a few yards away, and the geniuses cries of "No! I have to get to class!...mmm...Stop that!..." were going ignored by the group as a whole.<p>

Dylan chanced a glance at Evan and saw him scribbling in his notebook while humming the funeral march. Dylan sighed. Everyone was in their own little worlds and it made him feel like an outsider to his own group. Dylan dropped his cigarette in the snow and stood up. The others didn't even notice as he walked into the school heading straight towards the art room.  
>He actually liked the art teacher. She was a small and rather young woman who didn't care if Dylan barged into her classroom at random times or just stayed there the whole day. She smiled at him as he walked in merely rolling her eyes as he shed his wet coat and boots and walked straight to the easel by the window where his unfinished project was.<p>

Dylan's current painting was of a gloomy landscape. The ground look sickly, the sky was a flat gray with no sun or clouds, and the only object was a tree with no leaves and sagging branches. Dylan finished the fine details of the tree trunk before showing it to the teacher. The teacher nodded in approval before going back to her own painting leaving Dylan to his own devices. He didn't want to go back to his friends yet and he definitely wasn't going to go to the class he was supposed to be in. Sighing in defeat he settled in for a nap.

xxCrayonsAreConformistxx

Evan sighed. Vampir was back and he didn't want Dylan to run into him. Dylan was too oblivious to notice it but the wimpy vampire kid had a huge crush on him in the 4th grade and he didn't want the jerk ass messing with the other goth boy.  
>Evan decided that he should probably go look for his friend and secret crush, a decision egged on by the panting coming from the two raven haired twins a few yards away.<br>Evan started heading towards the art room knowing that if Dylan wasn't already the the teacher would probably know where to find him.  
>"Hey, Evan!" Evan sneered. He knew that voice anywhere. Evan turned to look at a smirking Vampir.<br>"What do you want?"  
>"You know what I want."<br>Evan growled. "If you knew what was good for you, you would leave Dylan alone."  
>"Why, you don't want to share your little fuck toy?"<br>Evan slammed Vampir into a wall and brought his face close to the others their cheeks touching Evan breathing directly into Vampir's ear.  
>"That's right. And if you plan to ever pro-create than you better remember that."<br>Evan vaguely heard the sound of hurried footsteps but thought nothing of it. It was probably just some kid skipping or something.

xxCrayonsAreConformistxx

Dylan walked quickly away from the scene. He had woken up on the couch and decided he should roam the halls when he saw Evan and Vampir getting...close. Something snapped in him at that moment and he began walking away without really thinking about it. He felt numb. His whole body was numb, his brain was numb, the world around him didn't feel real. His feet were moving without his consent, out of the school and to his house. His hand grabbed his keys and unlocked the door, he stumbled up the stairs and to his room.  
>Without thinking he grabbed his old box of razors and opened it taking out his favorite blade. Dylan rolled up his jacket sleeves and stared at the old scars lining up his arm. He hadn't cut for a year after the incident where Georgie found him and screamed that he was going to tell Evan if he didn't promise to quit.<br>He eyed the blade still feeling numb and as if he was watching everything go on from a distance. He didn't feel the first new cut, or the second, but by the third his mind had started clearing up. By the sixth reality hit him and he dropped the blade as tears came to his eyes.  
>He felt like shit. The guy who he had a crush on for <em>so fucking long <em>was getting friendly with their sworn enemy in the hall, and he broke his promise to Georgie.  
>God, <em>couldn't he do anything right? <em>He couldn't keep a promise to his friend, he was too weak to handle his own emotions, and he was an unattractive, unlovable waste of resources.  
>The thoughts of ending it, just ending it <em>all, <em>right now cluttered his mind, repeating over and over how the world would be better off, how no one would even miss him. Frantic Dylan tore his room apart looking for the sleeping pills he'd been prescribed because of caffeine assisted insomnia. He groaned in a mixture of relief and pain, and dry swallowed all the pills before lying on his bed to wait.

xxCrayonsAreConformistxx

Evan huffed in annoyance. After his little 'talk' with Vampir he hadn't been able to find Dylan, which worried him. He finally asked the art teacher and she said that she saw him walk out the building. Evan thanked her and left heading towards Dylan's house lighting a cigarette as he walked through the snow.  
>He finished the smoke once he got to Dylan's house and threw it in the snow before entering the house, not surprised that it wasn't locked. Dylan always forgot to lock the door behind him.<br>Evan walked up the stairs and turned into Dylan's room. At first he didn't notice anything wrong, it just looked like the smaller boy was sleeping. That is until he noticed the blood.  
>"Fuck." Evan hissed going up to his friend and finding an empty pill bottle beside him.<br>"Fuck! You better not die on me, Dylan!" Evan dragged Dylan to the bathroom quickly turning on a cold shower and climbing in there with the boy.  
>"Wake up!" Evan shouted shoving his finger down Dylan's throat causing the boy to vomit. Dylan coughed a few times before leaning against Evan breathing heavily.<br>"Why the fuck would you do that Dylan?" Evan mumbled as he frantically pecked Dylan's neck, "I love you so god damn much, why the fuck would you do that to me?"  
>Dylan was silent as tears made their way down his face. Evan sighed before standing up taking a sobbing Dylan with him. He cleaned up Dylan's arm and redressed him in oversized black t-shirt and boxers.<br>"I'm spending the night tonight," Evan stated rather than asked, "And we're talking about this in the morning."

xxCrayonsAreConformistxx

Dylan sighed as he swallowed the medicine under the watchful eye of his boyfriend. It had been three months since the night he attempted suicide, though he rather think of it as the night he and Evan got together.  
>"Medicine is conformist." Dylan mumbled which earned him a swat upside the head. After that night so long ago Evan forced Dylan to go see a psychiatrist once a week and he now was taking anti-depressants which he had to grudgingly admit, were actually sort of helping. Besides Evan forcing Dylan to get help he also threw out all of Dylan's razors and made sure that he was well monitored when taking any medicine.<br>This annoyed Dylan to no end. He felt like Evan couldn't trust him, but whenever they argued about Dylan getting more freedom Evan would guilt him by saying it was just for a little while longer and reminding Dylan how scared he was when he saw him dying on the bed. The argument would always end there because Dylan could never come up with a reply.  
>"Besides," Evan would say after, "I'm just worried about you because I love you."<br>Dylan smiled.  
>"I love you too. I'm nothing without you." <p>

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><p><strong>Lame ending is lame. I don't think I got the character's personalities right. Leave a review and tell me what you think!<strong>

**(Oh and the "Crayons are conformist" thing is an inside joke with my own head)**


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